if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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