mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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