She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
