just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
