If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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