Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
