i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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