i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
