Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Quick, to the slutcave!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
