Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
