the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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