So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So. Much. Porn.
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