38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize