Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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