I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
