I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
