I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
