dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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