Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
