Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize