oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
