Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How does it feel to date your dad?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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