you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
