i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
