you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
