What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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