If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
