i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
