Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
