omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
