can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
