I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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