did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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