do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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