I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can text with my tongue
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just gift wrapped bread.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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