yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
