i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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