The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
