Moan for me like Helen Keller
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
