Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
