they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
