small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
