i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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