New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
