I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
