Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
