So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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