if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
