i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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