2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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