hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
