Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
