Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
