We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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