Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
