I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Alive.
So much puke
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
