She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
