I wish my penis had an off switch
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
