Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
