Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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