I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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