as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
